it can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.  It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs.  Optimism for a relationship can cloud judgment.

It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes.  Not only would it be foolish, but downright selfish.  While you do not have to commit to marrying this person right away, you should realize thatany guy-girl relationship you begin has the potential to end in marriage.

If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband.  You are not being selfish in asking that question.  It is important that you do.  That is why it is important to consider some warning signs you will look for while dating someone.  Watch out for the following red flags.

Is he having a relationship with Christ?

If you desire to have a marriage relationship built on Scripture, you will want to marry a man who will be a strong spiritual leader to you and your future family.

Ask yourself these questions:  How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ?  Is he interested in growing spiritually?  How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church?  Is he servant-hearted?  Are you spiritually stronger than he is?  Your spiritual maturity may result in frustration and leadership struggles if he is not as strong as you in his relationship with God.

Second, does he care about your spiritual growth?  Ultimately, your spiritual condition is up to you and you alone.  However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians 5:25-27, emphasis mine).

Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.  However, a husband is responsible to lead his wife in sanctification, as this verse explains with the imagery of Christ and His bride.  If a man cannot do that, he is not ready to be a husband.  And if he is not ready to be a husband, dating him could only have a sorrowful outcome.

Is he depending on you?.

Marriage is a covenantal bond between a man and a woman where there is dependence—to a certain extent.  If you are dating a man who expects you to be everything to him and always make him happy, you both are in for a harsh awakening after the honeymoon ends.  You are both sinners and you will sin against each other.  While you do not want that to happen, it is reality. You will disappoint each other, not on purpose, but you will.  You cannot meet his every need.  To try to is foolish. Also, if he wants you to meet all his needs, that is close to idolatry (Exodus 20:3, 4).  Only God can truly satisfy a person’s soul.

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John 11:32-37
32 Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. 34 And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” (ESV)
This passage contains the shortest verse in the Bible, a verse which at the same time is not short of meaning. Jesus’ friend Lazarus has died. Jesus has seemingly arrived too late to prevent it. He will go on later to bring Lazarus back to life, a demonstration of his ultimate power over life and death. For now, Jesus weeps. As the onlookers noted, the tears were natural enough for Lazarus was a much loved friend. Never forget the human dimension of Jesus: we don’t have to find some profound theological reason for these tears. They are the tears of one who has lost someone he loves. This tear-filled Jesus is a comfort to those of us who also shed tears in a world of love and loss. And yet Jesus not only wept but was deeply moved, even outraged at the circumstances. It could be he merely despaired at the lack of faith on the part of those mourning. Didn’t they believe in the resurrection? However this seems a bit harsh, especially since Jesus himself wept at the loss. Perhaps it is better to see Jesus lamenting the sad realities of loss and death in our East-of-Eden world. He longs to abolish death and sadness and wipe away every tear but for now he does not. He is troubled and angry about how we have turned aside from life and embraced death by rejecting the ways of God. But he doesn’t just get angry at this state of affairs. Not too long afterwards he dies on the cross to conquer the finality of death and then rises again to show his death was effective in doing so.
A reminder that we are outraged and moved to tears by the multiple sadness’s of our world but are also filled with confidence that one day it will all be swallowed up in a new life without tears
.So be encourage and clean your tears because weeping may endure for night but joy come’s in the morning.


Where are You?

The truth is, MANY pastors/church leaders feel ‘guilty’ about their personal evangelism. Several inherent struggles associated with pastoring/leading include:

The ‘Distractions’ of day to day ‘operations’ related to ministry (administrative duties, expectations of others, etc.). Often these leave us ‘too busy” or feeling overwhelmed… (we can’t even think about, let alone… take on one more thing!!)

We are Easily Isolated from close interaction with non-Christians; relegated to our ‘island of insiders’. This lends to Feeling your own witness is “lacking”.

We Don’t Want to Offend others… we like to be liked too. And have… Mortgages to pay down, bills to pay… we don’t want to drive people away!

Or “evangelism” simply Isn’t Our Passionate ‘hotspot’.

All of these things (and more) can make one feel mildly if not VERY guilty about evangelism and hold you hostage from God’s best for your leadership.

Listen… the devil wants to and WILL take advantage of these feelings of ‘falling short’.

He wants to discourage you…  He’ll make you feel guilty when the subject comes up. He’ll seek to silence you with guilt and hinder you from the influence you can have!! And if he beats you up front, it will make it nearly impossible to preach, teach and disciple your people in the area of evangelism!

Let’s not let the devil win! Don’t think you have to be on the ‘top of our game’ when it comes to evangelism in order to make a huge difference although he would like to convince you otherwise!!
God says even “in our weakness” He wants and will use you to mobilize those you lead. People who are “not ashamed of the Gospel”. People convinced that the Gospel, is “the power of GOD unto salvation”.  You need to help them believe it and nurture that truth!

[2 Tim. 4:5] God instructs church leaders  to “do the work of an evangelist”. Not only does that include:

Your own personal witness  …counseling, weddings, funerals, etc.

It also includes the INFLUENCE you can have in teaching and nurturing the culture of evangelism. For many in your congregation YOU are their only trusted voice when it comes to spiritual things and you may only see them for 1 hour a week (if that). Don’t’ separate “evangelism” and “discipleship”. As a pastor/leader think of discipling your people to have an “evangelistic mindset” for personal evangelism.

And initiate steps to Equip those God has placed in your congregation who foster a passion for evangelism … mobilizing them to help others become devoted followers of Jesus too and influence others in the congregation to do the same.

AS LEADERS, YOUR GREATEST INFLUENCE FOR EVANGELISM will come by fostering and maintaining a CULTURE OF EVANGELISM in your churches discipling them to keep “evangelism” a priority in their lives.

Take Steps in Nurturing a CULTURE OF Evangelism…